


and now my favorite color is blue

by americangothic



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Dissociation, Gen, Insects, Partial Mind Control, non-consentual eye surgery, not gonna lie this is a bit fucked up but so is the whole concept of precursor!newt so yknow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 17:59:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15296952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americangothic/pseuds/americangothic
Summary: He gets an email from Shao Industries- a job offer- and he spends 3 days packing his possessions.It starts like this.





	and now my favorite color is blue

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "favorite color is blue" by robert delong and k.flay,, please listen to it while u read this it doesnt really enhance the experience but its a good song
> 
> this fic, as with most of my others, depends on my Wacky Writing Style so just bear with me. also as with my others it was written at 2 am and wasn't proofread at all so i apologize for any mistakes

it starts like this: he gets an email from shao industries and he spends 3 days packing his possessions. hermann watches. he hugs him and leaves and doesn't even cry once.

(no, he thinks. it started before that, when he picked up the pons and looked at the brain and against his better judgment he re-entered the drift.)

this happens: he picks up a pen and frowns, because he didn’t need the pen and he doesn't know why he’s picking it up.

this happens: he lays down in his bed, in between alice’s tank and his chair, and stares at the ceiling. a fly lands on his face, and he does not move to get it off.

this happens: he finishes drifting with alice and instead of going to open his laptop and finish the report for today, he goes to the kitchen and eats a whole apple. it takes 37 minutes and his nose starts bleeding after 3. it’s not him eating the apple, but. but it is.

this happens: he starts getting fitted for better suits and vests and clothes that make him look like a professional. like a capitalist, he thinks while he is lying in his bed at night staring at the ceiling, before another fly lands on his hand. 

this happens: his glasses fall off his face for the 482nd time because he forget to take them off before drifting. when he finishes he puts them back on and his legs walk to his laptop and his hands schedule an appointment for lasik. his hands email liwen and inform her that he will be taking a day off tomorrow due to an arrangement that came up. a fly lands on his face and he does not push it away.

it feels like this: watching from behind a veil. not be able to open his mouth and say “excuse me, but i did not schedule this surgery and i fear something may be wrong because i frequently lose control of my bodily autonomy,” because he's never been able to talk like that, so politely. a million flies are crawling all over him.

these are facts: the sunglasses make the sky darker. give it a dark tint of yellow. his hands picked up ones with blue lenses and he dropped them. crushed them under his foot. no more blue. no more blue.

this is a fact: it's blue when he’s with alice.

this happens: he travels to siberia and works on the jaeger. he can't tell whether it's him or his hands that do it. flies do not land on his skin because it is too cold for them to survive.

this happens: he checks his inbox and there are 3 new emails from hermann gottlieb since last month. his hands delete them. a fly lands on his monitor.

this happens: he travels to siberia and works on the jaeger.

this happens: the work on the drones begin and he thinks. thinks. thinks.

this happens: he drifts with alice every night and he needs her.

this happens: he travels to siberia and works on the jaeger.

this happens: he works on the drones.

this happens: he drifts with alice.

travel to siberia and work on the jaeger. work on the drones. drift with alice. 

jaeger. drones. alice.

jaeger. drones. alice.

jaeger. drones. alice.

jaeger. drones. a-

he receives a call from gottlieb and his skin prickles. he wasn't ready for this, They weren't prepared for this, he hits answer before They can and then

“¡\~{¥¡?” gottlieb asks.

“...hey, hermann.”

they make small talk and he knows it isn't what hermann called to ask about. he can hear it in his voice. the question the question the question what is it what is it what will he say can he understand will newton be able to call for help

“hey, would you be interested in meeting alice?” he asks.

hermann is quiet for a second too long.

“who’s alice?”

“my, uh, girlfriend.” 

“oh,” hermann says.

they don’t make plans to meet, and They are relieved.

the world moves quicker, faster, (jaegar finished. drones nearly finished. alice.) and then there's excitement.

excitement: from Them, because it's going to be time soon. from liwen, because it's going to be time soon. from ¡\~{¥¡, because he. he could be free soon. of course, he might also be dead soon. 

(assuming that freedom and death are separate things at this point, of course.)

this happens: they step onto the ground at the shatterdome (they being him and liwen and Them).

this happens: he’s pulled behind the veil again, and he watches the end of the world, and some part of him wonders if it could've gone differently.

**Author's Note:**

> ¡\~{¥¡ = newton
> 
> my tumblr is newtongeiszlerstoes or disgusting-little-man and i am very sad over this broken scientist


End file.
